The first weeks of life with a new baby and frequent feedings can be exhausting. Initially this is what your baby needs, but we all get to the point of needing more sleep. Sleep is important for both parents and babies. Ongoing lack of sleep contributes to our mental and physical health, and is also one of the commonly cited reasons for stopping breastfeeding.

In the early weeks having a spouse or support person to help you manage the lack of sleep will really help. In your last weeks of pregnancy this can be an important conversation to have. Plan for ways to share the load and give time to each other to have a catch up nap during the day. 

Many babies are ready to start stretching their nighttime sleep from about 6 weeks once feeding and your milk supply are well established. Here are some thoughts on extending sleep at night.

How can I help my baby sleep longer at night?

Be proactive to encourage active feeding during the day when you see those hunger cues. Make the most of each feeding session. If your baby is taking short feeds and feeding every hour there can be a number of reasons and a consultation could be helpful. Some cluster feeding is normal (often in the late afternoon or evening) but all day, all night hourly feedings is not cluster feeding, and is generally not sustainable.

Regular naps during the day will help your baby to feed well and be more rested overall. Be aware of light and deep sleep cycles - stirring around 30-40 minutes is normal but babies will often go back into deep sleep again. In general repeating these sleep cycles during daytime naps helps your baby to do the same at night. If you are struggling with daytime naps contact me for some support.

From the first daytime feeding (maybe somewhere around 6-8am) be intentional about having an interactive waketime after the feeding with some sunlight, tummy time and other play that tells baby daytime is for playtime) This will help settle your baby’s circadian rhythms.

From one of the mid - late evening feedings and through the night try to keep the stimulation lower with low lighting, restful sounds rather than TV etc and be quieter about diaper changes and back to sleep. This helps your baby realize night time is the quiet time. 

So how long is too long for my baby to sleep at night?

In the first few weeks babies need to feed frequently as they have small tummies and are growing fast. It also helps you build a strong milk supply. Gradually they can extend a night time stretch as long as they are still receiving at least 8 feedings in 24 hours and are having adequate wet and dirty diapers/nappies.

Most babies can have a nighttime sleep stretch about equal to the number of weeks they are old from 4 weeks. This sometimes happens gradually and for other babies it happens a bit later and then they will extend it out more quickly. 

Once your baby is having a 6-8 hour stretch keep an eye on your milk supply. Some mamas can tolerate a longer night stretch just fine. Others have to be more careful about it happening too quickly, or need to use a dream feed or some pumping to support their supply.

After the first 2-3 months many babies can go longer at night and will get a full intake during daytime feedings, and enjoy the benefits of a full restful night’s sleep. Feedings may now be less than 8 in 24 hours and gradually reduce in number but increase in volume. Some babies will still wake briefly for a quick feed overnight or may go through phases with a growth spurt, sickness or teething when they wake again during the night for a few days. Depending on your storage capacity you may need to do a dream feed or pump sometime during the night to keep a strong milk supply and other mamas can go 8-12 hours just fine.

What about co-sleeping and sleep training?

As a mother of four I know the value of both breastfeeding and sleep. I believe they are both important and that they can go together. There are so many approaches and opinions on baby sleep, sleep training, co-sleeping and all that goes with it. Ultimately you will have to decide what is best for you and your family.

Sleep training is sometimes seen as “cry it out” but that is not necessarily the case. Being proactive during the day as mentioned above can be part of setting your baby up for restful sleeping habits. Recognizing the difference between active or light sleep states (which can include grizzling or crying) and waking up to feed with hunger cues showing can be very helpful. Some babies do cry a little as they settle into sleep. You will gradually learn what is normal for your baby and can then recognize when things are not normal and need checking.

There are also ways for your baby to sleep close to you but not in your bed. Co-sleep or not to co-sleep is a very personal decisions. A bassinet or crib beside the bed or some of the many options that are now available can give the best of both worlds and enable to to respond to your baby as needed and also have some space. One of our particularly noisy babies slept just outside our bedroom door in a bassinet on wheels. He was close enough to hear when he woke up but not so close that we were woken by every snuffle or snort. Many parents feel safe and less anxious having their own space and get better sleep overall. Once a baby is rolling and moving more co-sleeping can also get a little trickier. If you are a light sleeper or think it might be an issue for you try another option for their own safe space to sleep before it becomes too difficult.

Final thoughts

This is a big topic and there are many aspects I have not included. Every family and baby is unique and as a mother and Lactation Consultant I know sometimes the strategies that work for one child don’t work the same with the next. I do however believe both breastfeeding and adequate sleep are important to our children’s development and our own health as parents too. If you are struggling in this area or want to discuss some strategies ahead of time contact me for a consultation.